Joyous Holiday Blues

Psalm 34:18
18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Holidays are always interesting. I love them, but at certain moments I get sucker punched with emotions. You know when you hit the point of exhaustion and become frustrated with your heart and situation? I become frustrated because I feel I should "be over" those feelings, but they still come back just as strong. So then I have condemning thoughts which leads to sadness which leads to doubt which sticks me back in that pit of despair. UGGG it's the worst! I become fearful that I will always experience these brutal feelings which causes my heart to break all over again. Yet, the good news is that Christ has got me right where He wants me, and He's going to walk with me through every painful step. I know He will use all of this for His glory. Memories and loneliness are beyond difficult and suffocating. But again, it keeps me depending on Christ for my ultimate security - not easy but essential.

The hard times will continue to come, but Christ is right there with us and He will continue to place people in our lives to help us make it through the depths of the depths. The beauty is that He knows exactly how we feel and no one else really understands the depths of our pain but Him. I just found this secular song turned spiritual (b/c being a Christ follower means we get to see Him in everything) and it speaks to my heart in a huge way - knowing Christ is continuing to heal and repair my heart, even when it feels completely hopeless.

James 4:8a
8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.


1 Peter 5:7
7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.


Psalm 22:14
14 I am poured out like water,
and all my bones are out of joint;
my heart is like wax;
it is melted within my breast;


Lamentations 2:19
19 “Arise, cry out in the night,
at the beginning of the night watches!
Pour out your heart like water
before the presence of the Lord!
Lift your hands to him
for the lives of your children,
who faint for hunger
at the head of every street.”

Friends the holidays sometimes mean one foot in front of the other - God will be right there. Sometimes holidays mean a grand canyon absence of those who are no longer - the worst pain, and I wish I could take it away. However, I know that God does not take us through pain as punishment, and He loves us more than anyone could. Continue to trust that this is all a part of His ultimate plan for good. I am praying for you every step of the way. Love you friends.